At the age of 37 I was extremely single. And so very tired of it.
I was successful in my career, but my romantic relationships were a string of failures.
One guy I dated told me I was the strongest woman he’d ever met —
and then ghosted me.
It forced me to ask myself some hard questions, like
“What more do I have to DO to get a real relationship?!” and
“Where IS my Mr. Right?!” (sound familiar?) —
And one day, something deep in my gut answered:
“If God sent Mr. Right to your doorstep right now,
you wouldn’t be ready for him.”
Any reasonable man would RUN.
I was trying to be strong and independent,
but was actually giving off Angry Woman and
NEEDY Woman Energy!
Sure, I was accomplished and looked great on paper, but inside? I was so wounded that my defenses were always up, I came across as aggressive most of the time, and I carried more baggage with me than a bellhop.
It made me strong, determined, & driven.
But it also made me defensive, angry, insecure and reactive.
(career success is often a byproduct of the skills Wildflowers develop)
Not exactly the dream woman of a self-respecting man!
And by the time I was 37 (and STILL single!!!), I was carrying a lot of baggage.
Instead, I had a string of bad relationships
and couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.
the behaviors that we develop just to survive can be detrimental to the things that we want most.
At how I came across. And I was shocked.
I had serious
Hurt Woman Energy!
That shattering moment of self-awareness was the first step on my journey to healing my wounds and releasing my baggage. I studied hard. I found amazing tools.
And ultimately, I developed a process to help Wildflowers like me
is to rescue the “Boss Chick” and the
“Dude That Looks Good On Paper”
from relationship exhaustion,
so you can truly enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to build.
Well, it’s good.
But not in the ways I expected.
I was truly excited about what I was discovering about myself and the life I was cultivating, but somewhere in the midst of becoming, a relationship stopped being my focus.
The new me is willing to wait until it’s the right fit.
To be honest, I’m not proud of my reasons for wanting a mate in the first place. I’d wanted another person to validate me. What I wanted now was a person who would complement me.
I’ve cultivated new friendships and made peace with old, toxic friendships.
I was able to re engage with people I love with healthy, well-established boundaries.
I have a healthy dating life now (and I don’t try to turn sex into marriage anymore!).
I get to know people based on my values, and figure out where I want them to fit in MY life.
And I don’t fall apart if I’m rejected.
I stopped acting defensive and isolating myself, and got three promotions in five years.
I’m not perfect. My life isn’t Utopia.
Growth is an everyday struggle.
But I found peace and love of self.